I am alive

Well, I have nothing to say, but I want to start updating the blog again. So here we go.

A new background

I've seen more and more people with cute blogs, so I just went and added this new cute background. Love it!

Reflecting on a legacy

I watched a special on CBS last about Edward Kennedy's remarkable life. 

Here are the transcripts. 

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/26/national/main5267991_page5.shtml

This is amazing:

After [Caroline's] wedding, Jackie wrote Ted a thank you letter - a token of gratitude for what he’d meant to all the Kennedys over the years.

The letter read, "There have been 17 children besides your own - Bobby's, Pat's, Jack's and mine, for whom you have always been there. Every graduation, every big decision, every trouble, every sad and even every happy day. On you, the carefree youngest brother, fell a burden a hero would beg to be spared. Sick parents, lost children, desolate wives. You are a hero. Everyone is going to make it, because you are always there with your love. Jackie."

As a dyed-in-the-wool conservative, I am not sure I would have agreed with Sen. Kennedy on very much, but one thing is the same: compassion. By all accounts, he matured into a kind-hearted generous man who knew how to help those in need. This world is so lacking in compassion and kindness, especially in politics. Thank you, Senator. I hope you're enjoying time with your beloved siblings now. 

Quotidian mysteries/a Latin lesson

I borrowed the title of a lecture that I'm reading from Kathleen Norris, the marvelous poet and Christian thinker.

Here's the book's Google Page, where you can read more:
http://books.google.com/books?id=ETnB8B93otEC&dq=Kathleen+Norris&printsec=frontcover&source=an&hl=en&ei=p1-MSp2gCIisMJ2V3JMO&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=10#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Honestly, I purchased this book to round out a cart for free shipping. What a wonderful accident (or instance of providence, I should say). Quotidian was one of those words on the fringes on my consciousness. I had heard of it, but wasn't quite sure what it meant... It does mean "everyday, repeated actions." It comes from the same Latin root/Old English as "quote," from the question "how many."

Entomology aside, that's exactly what I've been thinking about lately. Perhaps, I should message the subtitle: "Laundry, Liturgy, and 'Womens' Work." Normally, this title would never catch my attention. I work "outside the home" as they say and don't feel very domestic. Yet, this book is so enthralling. It's hardly about laundry, as Norris makes clear.

Then it hit me...that's where I'm missing God in my life: in the details. Frankly, my life is boring right now. I never made good on that plan to save the world. I'm caught up in the trappings of thirtysomethings, namely working and worrying too hard. So, I was treating that as an excuse to ignore God. How silly.

A week ago, I heard a sermon that reminded me that God is always part of life. Pastor Larry said these words:

"Coram Deo. Two words that mean that something takes place in the presence of, or before the face of, God. To live Coram Deo is to live one's entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God. To live in the presence of God is to understand that whatever we are doing and wherever we are doing it, we are acting under the gaze of God."

And then my friend Kerry shared words from her Pastor Larry and a co-worker encouraged me to listen to a sermon from his church about living your whole life in worship. In about 40 hours, I was hit over the head with how important it is to live all of our lives before God.

What a challenge. But the truth is that God cares about what do and how we live. He loves us...how do we return that?

Passive aggressive no more

I'm going to visit my parents in two weeks. I am getting very nervous about that. Everything I do is wrong...I never make the right plans...there's never enough room for me. I spend too much time with my friends...I don't help enough...I'm in the way. 

Can you hear me rolling my eyes? I don't like conflict and there's a reason why I spend most of the year 700 miles away from my parents. That sounds crazy...but it's the way it is. I haven't even yet mentioned my grandmother. She is really getting on my mother's nerves. There's so much tension there....because they're both seriously passive-aggressive. My mother won't call out my grandma's bad behavior and my grandma won't stop acting like a petulant. I know there's 55 years of passive-aggressive past between them, but it just seems so crazy. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit into this. I'm hoping to be honest about how I feel and not hop on the crazy train. We will see.

Balance

Yesterday, I began this message, and all I typed was a "p".  I am wondering what I was thinking. Since I'm not sure, I will start over again. 

It saddens me that I've only written a handful of posts this year. What have I been doing? Working and writing of course. I've said I was busy before, but I had no idea what that meant. I haven't been this busy since college. But those silly credit cards are almost paid off. Really...I've paid off 80 percent of the balance. That's a lot of money. And a lot of work behind it. 

Anyway... balance is the key word. My wonderful friends that are part of the GSPN.tv community are working on living a more balanced life. You can visit pursuingabalancedlife.com to find out who's involved and read more about it. Thanks to Cliff's leadership, we've started talking about our goals and making real changes in our lives.

Really, we're learning how to be happy with what we have. Being healthy, moderate, wise, and kind is a good way to live. It's important to remember this is :PURSUING: because it's a whole bunch of little tiny choices in our daily lives.

I've come a long way. I am now working out, reigning in my spending, and working hard.

However, I need to work on cooking healthy food and keeping the house picked up. Really, that's not too bad!

My moment of glory

I meant to post this last week when it happened.

We did something strange in the office...we took a Thursday afternoon off to do some bowling. It was a reward, actually, for our month-long fitness challenge at work. There were only two days I couldn’t make it: nothing but water and no salt. If you didn’t make the challenge, you put a dollar into the pot. If not, you just had the satisfaction of doing something good for yourself.

So, when it came to bowling, somehow it worked out that I was able to bowl first. I was really nervous about it. But everyone was milling about and I was ready. After being urged to go, I let the ball go. ... And knocked down 9 pins. And then I picked up the spare with everyone watching. Amazing! It went downhill from there, but I had a brief, fleeting moment of glory. And I was happy with the 81 I bowled.